What is Developmental Trauma?

by Jaclyn Lam | November 2023

       This type of trauma manifests throughout childhood and is recurrent over a long period of time. As children, we rely heavily on our attachment figures to provide us with safety, comfort, and consistency. This level of care allows us to begin to develop our own identities and discover how we relate to the world. Developmental trauma occurs when a caregiver fails to provide an emotionally or physically safe environment for a child. Emotional safety is when we feel heard, accepted, unconditionally cared for, and loved. If we repeatedly do not receive this from the trusted caregivers in our lives, there can be long-term negative impacts.

       This type of environment can lead to an overall distrust of others and negative feelings toward yourself. Many clients report feeling that they are not good enough for their loved ones, that there is something inherently “wrong” with them, and that other people cannot be relied on to meet their needs. This can lead to feelings of depression, and hopelessness, and cause interpersonal distance or conflict.

        The messages we receive as we develop our identities are immensely impactful. Some of these messages can stay with us into our adulthood. For example, if you received the message that you are only loved if you comply with what others need, you might find a pattern of being a “people-pleaser” and experience anxiety when others are unhappy with you. Not only can this cause internal distress, but it can also lead to a pattern in which your interpersonal needs go unmet by your loved ones.      

        Through understanding what these messages are, we can begin to decipher if this is an innate belief or if this was placed on you by someone else. When we connect the dots between what we experienced while forming our identities to how we struggle in the present, we can begin to heal. Emotional healing from developmental trauma can often feel overwhelming, but it does not have to be. With the guidance of a trusted therapist, you can start to explore the hurt parts of you that need compassion, care, and love. We can begin to explore how you might meet the needs yourself that were not met by the attachment figures in your life. This is often an empowering experience that leads to a sense of internal stability, self-love, and hope for your future.